Tooth Trauma (and Drama)

I was having a bad day. Last night I found a dark spot on my daughter’s molar, after all my meticulous tooth-brushing mania of late, and I was feeling like a failure at motherhood, wondering why someone hadn’t fired me yet.

I went through the stages of grief. (I think there are six, but I only remembered four when I was thinking about this and four is really all the energy I have to write about anyway.)

1. Denial-It’s not a cavity. It’s just a brown speck. We just went to have her cavities filled less than two months ago. It can’t be!

Okay, it’s not brushing off. Maybe it’s the filling! Maybe they make brown fillings! Maybe it’s an off-whitey brown.

(A bit of history: at the last visit my six-year-old daughter had FOUR cavities. I could sort of understand since it had recently been Valentine’s Day so we were drowning in candy, but I had also been vigilant about their brushing twice a day, with my husband or I finishing up afterwards. After that distressing month of fillings, however, we had been trying so hard! We’d been brushing twice or three times a day, plus eating hardly any sugar, and brushing after any sugar at all. The thought that she still had a cavity after all that work was completely depressing.)

2. Anger – How can this happen? I’ve been trying so hard! Why didn’t that dentist tell me what to do! Something’s wrong! Maybe she’s malnourished! Why aren’t they helping me figure this out!

This progressed to anger at myself: I am a terrible mother. I can’t even keep my kids’ teeth from rotting out of their heads. I can’t do any more than this. I’m going to give up. Wait, I can’t give up. Why can other mothers clean out their vents and closets and cook freezer meals and go running and homeschool and blog, and I can’t even keep my children’s teeth from rotting?

What’s wrong with me?

At this point I called my friend sobbing and she prayed with me and told me I’m a good mom. That helped a little. My poor toddler kept looking at me with tears running down my face and asked, puzzled, “Wha happen?” I felt even worse for traumatizing my children, but I couldn’t help it.

Okay, I realize I sound like a complete basket case at this point, but I’m so tired. It’s my husband’s last (maybe) hardest week at work, so he leaves before we get up and doesn’t get home until we are all in bed. Half of the lightbulbs in the house are burned out, and the back doorknob fell off this morning when my daughter tried to open the door. Things are falling apart all over the place.

So, this was just confirmation in my mind that I was failing and couldn’t really pull this whole motherhood thing off. And, while I was thinking about it, why could I think I could homeschool my children when I can’t even take care of their basic needs? If I put them in school I could afford to spend an hour a day brushing teeth. (I know none of this is logical, and I knew it then, but I didn’t care. It was how I felt. )

3. Grief- I cried and cried, and cried some more. We had lunch with my husband and I told him the news, and that we had a dentist appointment at one o’clock, and that I was clearly a failure as a parent. He told me I did a good job and who cares about cavities anyway. He pointed out that my teeth are full of cavities and they still work, which is true. We’re doing the best we can. Which was nice of him and all, but he sort of had to say that; he’s married to me. It did help a little though.

4. Acceptance – As we drove to the dentists’ office, I resigned myself to the fact that she had at least one cavity, and I had to just try more to use that blue rinse I just ordered. And the plaque tablets. And the firefly toothbrushes. And the tiny flashlight to inspect. (And floss, and rinse, and three times a day supervision of brushing.) It was just what we needed to do. And I almost believed it didn’t mean I was a failure as a mother. I was getting there.

Then we went ahead and prayed it wouldn’t be a cavity, which is sort of a dumb prayer because either it is or it isn’t, but I figured God could retroactively answer my prayer and make it NOT be a cavity, because He is God, after all.

Then we went to the dentist, and I waited for the news, pretty certain that I wouldn’t cry because I’d gotten all my crying out. Guess what?

It wasn’t a cavity.

What? What else could a brown speck on the surface of her molar be?

Staining.

I know! What?

Apparently some of the latest filling had “leakage,” whatever that is, and got stained, so they just scraped it off, put more filling on, filed it down, and it’s done. Even typing that, the whole thing doesn’t make sense to me, but the important thing is: it isn’t a cavity!!!

And I know that I’m doing the best I can and there’s more to being a good mother than dental hygiene, but I just wanted to tell God Thank You. That was really nice of Him. I really appreciate it. It was a very nice surprise.

And also, as all this was going on, we had to run home and put some milk in the fridge, and I had to check my email because I’m obsessive like that lately, and I had an email from San Francisco Book Review saying they had chosen my book for a review and it was ready. I was thrilled that it had been chosen for a review, because that is a feat in and of itself, but also terrified. This is the service our library uses for reviews; they review all kinds of general audience books, and they would probably tear it apart, I thought. They’d call me out as an amateur.

I was thinking, as I clicked on the link, that probably it would say that I had no business writing and that I shouldn’t quit my day job. But little did they know I was actually failing at my day job, I thought wryly. Then the page loaded.

Five stars.

What? Was I on the right review? Yep. That was it.

Again, relief. Again, thanks. Not feeling adequate, but very thankful and humbled.

Because… “They did not gain possession of the land by their own sword, nor did their own arm save them. But it was His right hand, His arm, and the light of His countenance, because He favored them.” Ps 44:3

And I just wanted to say Thanks.

I am so grateful these days for so many things.

In Christ Alone? Really?

What would you do if you had been told you have a  debilitating disease and you wonder how many more years you have? Let’s say  five. Five years.  What would you do?  What would you say? How would that change the way you see the morning sunlight,  the soft cheeks around you, the mess on the couch?

Where would you go and what would your priorities be?

I mean it.

What would you want to do if you had five more years? Think about it.

I’ll tell you what I wouldn’t do. I wouldn’t worry about  cleaning out my refrigerator, or coming up with a marketing plan, or Ten Goals to Make Myself The Perfect Mother. And I would NOT blog. (I’m not saying I’d never clean out the refrigerator or clean up the books on the couch, but I’d realize they really didn’t matter all that much. They aren’t the important things.)

I’d hug my babies. I’d kiss my husband.  I’d resolve to speak gently to them all. And I’d
pray for the grace to do that each moment. I probably wouldn’t get as annoyed
with my kids. Because the thought that would be in my head would be: How do I
want them to remember me when I’m gone? Do I want their memories to be of being
yelled at or constantly corrected because they weren’t perfect? Or do I want
them to remember being cherished, gently taught, and given wisdom about God’s
world and those in it?  I want them to know they were deeply loved.

I won’t be here always to guide my children. What will my legacy be? I can’t teach them every verse. There will be gaps in theology, just like in education. But is the fabric of their days loving God and loving others? I wouldn’t be able to do it all in five years. But I could teach them what I know and let them know, always, and forever, that they were deeply loved by a mother who adored them.

That is my prayer. Whether I live five years or fifty. Our time here is short. Who knows how long we have? Our days are numbered.

Teach us to number our days, that we might gain a heart of wisdom.  Ps 19 11:13

And also, I would want our family to go to Kenya. By way of Egypt, and maybe Israel. I want my kids to know more about this world than our comfortable corner.

What would you do? Where would you go? What do you want to teach your children?

And, if all were stripped away, like it was for Gracia Burnam, could we really say:

In Christ alone
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
‘Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

While I’m on the subject, another song from church this
week that made me cry. What about this one:

I’d Rather Have Jesus

I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold;
I’d rather be His than have riches untold;
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands,
I’d rather be led by His nail pierced hand.

Than to be a king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin’s dread sway,
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today.

I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause;
I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause;
I’d rather have Jesus than world-wide fame,
I’d rather be true to His holy name.

Would I? Really? Would you?

(And no, I’m not dying. Today, anyway. I’ve just been thinking.)

Character Books for Young Children

Rod and Staff Little Jewel Books

I absolutely love Rod and Staff Little Jewel Books. They are sweet, teach good character, and are about $3 each. My favorites are Molly Helps Mother (not pictured), Just Four, Helping Mother, and A Boy to Help.

 

 

 

Little Lights Missionary Biographies

I had been looking for something like this for a long time. These are missionary/Christian hero biographies, at a very young level. I love them. I got them from Grace and Truth books.

 

 


I saw these on a “19 Kids and Counting” episode and spent hours online trying to find them! They do a good job with character. No Bible verses are included, so I want to write one for each book on the first page just to remember to tell my
kids.  I find the writing a bit
long-winded, so I tend to edit a bit. My two-year old LOVES these for some reason! (When he saw me working on this he started shouting, “King of the POND!!!” And then clambered up on my lap so he could see. He loves his King of the Pond.) I ordered online: http://www.advancepublishing.com/ASTS_Series.html .

 

I got these at a used book sale. Sadly, they’re no longer in print, but you can be on the lookout for similar ones at used book sales or the library. Church libraries might have something like this as well.

 

 

You certainly don’t need to buy these, but as you evaluate books think: What character lesson is this teaching? What example are the children giving? Are they complaining and whining, or cheerfully obeying?

I was so happy to find Grace and Truth’s booth that I loaded up on LOTS of books for our shelf at home and for gifts. That’s how I met Dennis and Naomi, got to talking with them, and asked them to consider being a vendor for my book at the OCHEC conventions. They said “YES!” Hooray! Come visit us at OCHEC.

I’ll also be at the Books Bloom booth at the convention, and I’m sure they’ll have awesome books too. I’ll probably end up buying some if I’m there very long, so I’ll have to do a post about what other treasures I find after the convention!

If you are not a homeschooler, you might check into a convention anyway. I know the OCHEC convention is offering FREE entry to anyone who’s never attended before. (For the rest of us it’s $30 or so.)  You can go, check out the books, listen to some speakers, and learn more about homeschooling or how you can incorporate some ideas, even if you aren’t homeschooling.

What about you? What are your favorite character books for young kids?

Power of Moms

I love this post. I’ve been reflecting on this as I’ve been more in the world of blogging lately, and realizing there’s a lot that’s awfully discouraging on blogs, and I get a little tired of seeing everyone’s perfect activities, smiling children, and clean houses. I don’t want to do the same. If I have to write something (and maybe I don’t), I want it to be above all honest, then encouraging. And if it happens, some days it might be beautiful. And some days it might be a huge mess. Because that’s life.

http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/

 

 

Beauty in a Juice Glass

White Peony, Pink Rose in Small Mason Jar

One of my favorite things in the spring is cutting a sprig of this or that and bringing some beauty indoors.  I wrote a post recently (and might actually be brave enough to publish it soon) about getting overwhelmed at the chaos that is my yard, but choosing to focus instead on the beauty that is already there.

Like roses. And peonies.

It really inspires me to keep my tables cleaned when I have a gorgeous flower to put in the middle of it.

It doesn’t take much. A few branches of some blooming thing: wildflowers, a flowering tree or bush, or one amazing rose. Here are some pictures from today. Everything’s in bloom, it seems.

White roses and pink Abraham Darby rose.

This pink one is an heirloom one called Abraham Darby. I only remember that because the name sounds so fancy and Jane Austen-ish. [Note: I read later that he invented smelting coke into iron, thus enabling the Industrial Revolution. So if I invent something that inspires a revolution, will they name a rose after me?] They are an heirloom variety, so they cost maybe $30 for a plant instead of $20. It’s worth it. The blooms are exquisite, and the aroma fills my kitchen. It’s rosey-lemony scent is delicious. (Despite the fact that my toddler takes a whiff and declares emphatically, “Pea-yuck!!!” He’ll grow into it.)

  I am told this is Privet. Two weeks ago I thought it was a weed. This week I see it has tiny honey-scented blossoms and apparently, is a butterfly magnet. I’m not sure how I’ve missed this the last nine years I’ve lived in this house.
One gorgeous rose in one beautiful glass (my grandmother’s juice glass). It doesn’t take much to brighten up a room.
Today we’re not doing school (other than a spelling page, listening to Little Town on the Prairie CD, and doing math worksheets), and I’m enjoying getting everything in order again after being out of town for a family camp over the weekend. And even though my toddler is potty training and things are a bit crazy with messes in the bathroom, we can still have a joyful kitchen and dining room with these friendly flowers smiling at us when we come in the room.
They make us all happy.

Here are the flowers that grow in our yard during the spring with very little involvement from me. This is the order in which they bloom.

  • Bulbs (Daffodils, Tulips)- March – we planted one fall about five years ago.
  • Flowering trees - March – Plum (others include pear, apple, dogwood, etc.)
  • Flowering bushes - March/April – Forsythia (Sadly ours is dying, but these are gorgeous. Others include Azalea or Privet.)
  • Roses/Peonies – April/May/June usually. I am in love with roses. I planted eight bushes three years ago (my birthday and Mother’s Day presents). They’re not thriving like I want, but they are working their best at it. At least one bush is blooming for most of April and May.

But, in almost any yard, I’d bet there is something blooming and lovely, if you look hard enough. Wildflowers in a tiny vase are delightful. Send your kids out with their safety scissors and they can probably find something.

What lovely things are growing in your yard? What do you enjoy in a vase? How do you bring God’s beauty into your home?

(I have to stop typing and get off the computer now so my daughter can do her Xtra math. Have you heard of Xtra math? I love it.)

Chapter Book Reviews: Little Town on the Prairie & Surprise Island

Here’s the order of the Little House on the Prairie Series, and my rating (and some of that is influenced by what my children thought of them). I listen to the CDs with my two older children, ages 8 (boy) and 6 (girl).  They also listen to a CD most
nights in bed as they fall asleep.

 

  1. Little House in the Big Woods (5 stars)
  2. Little House on the Prairie (5 stars)
  3. Farmer Boy (about Almanzo’s childhood in New York) (5 stars)
  4. On the Banks of Plum Creek (5 stars)
  5. By the Shores of Silver Lake (4.5 stars)
  6. The Long Winter (5 stars)
  7. Little Town on the Prairie (listening to now)
  8. These Happy Golden Years
    (The First Four Years would come next but was published after her death; it’s not technically part of the series.)

We are starting Little Town on the Prairie. I had forgotten about it and thought we were on the last one already, and I just wasn’t ready for Laura to be all grown up! So, I’m very glad to have this one come next.  So far, my kids have really enjoyed it, especially the story about the mouse eating some of Pa’s hair, and the fight between the little kitten and the big mouse.  I think Laura Ingalls Wilder does such an excellent job of weaving the history and mood of the time together in a more mature narrative now that Laura is older, but still keeping these stories that delight young listeners.

My final review of By the Shores of Silver Creek is four-and-a-half out of five stars, not because it’s not as well- written, but I just had an unsettled feeling for most of the book. That’s exactly what the time was with the work on the railroad, wondering if they’d get their claim, moving, moving again, so I’m sure this was intentional. I mean, I liked it, and my kids did  too, I just didn’t love it quite as much as the others. They still enjoyed the stories of Laura traveling west and having candy in a railway car, sleeping in a tent with cousin Lena, winter in the surveyor’s house by the creek, and Laura and Carrie meeting up with a huge wolf one moonlit night.

Boxcar Children: Surprise Island
during Tea Time reading (afternoon, for 15-30 minutes, during my toddler’s nap time)

We just started this one.  It is the second in the series. My review of the first one, The Boxcar Children, is probably four-and-a-half stars.  I think
it’s a great one for my son to read himself.  I read most of it to get him into it, but he’s capable of sitting down and reading a chapter, or the whole thing if he wanted.

 

 

 

 

What I liked:

  • Simple vocabulary, so my son can read it on his own.
  • The children are nice to each other and look out for each other. Good examples.
  • Children are resourceful, thinking of ways to do things.
  • Simpler, more creative world – I like that these were written in the forties, because it shows how fun and exciting and adventurous the world can be even with no computers in sight. In a world where every show they watch, like WildKratts or Superwhy! even, seems to have kids using a handheld computer to get things done, it’s so nice to see that kids can do all kinds of things just by using their own brains and what’s around them.

What isn’t my favorite:

  • Simple vocabulary, so I want to make sure they are listening to literature above their reading level as well, like the Little House on the Prairie series. They
    learn new words all the time from that.
  • Sometimes bizarre that no adults are around.

Anyway, both my kids like the Boxcar Children series so far, and Tea Time is going well, even though we have only done it a few times!  It’s a good snuggle time with my older two while my toddler is napping.  I really want to keep doing it.

Easter: Egg Dyeing

This was after the eggs had been soaking in the dye an HOUR.

I don’t actually like dyeing eggs. Every year I say I’m not going to do it. But then, about two days before Easter, I just can’t help myself. I keep thinking it’s going to be great. Maybe next year, I’ll just do it myself with no children. Yes, I think that’s a good plan.

 

This morning, I hardboiled a bunch of eggs, realized I didn’t have any dye like I thought, so we went to Reasor’s, came home, and got started. I remembered my own advice and actually put my toddler in his high-chair this time, so that part went much better.

Then, the kids were fighting over who got to put in the vinegar, and they were all, “She put water in MY cup!!!” And, “He took my egg out of the yellow!!! That was my egg!”  Then, my daughter was all whiny and frustrated because, “They aren’t working. They’re not getting stripey! They’re terrible!” (Insert sobbing here.)And my arm is tired!”

And I’ll admit, that PAAS Easter Egg dye takes forever to dye the eggs. It’s not very bright. And it’s hard to make a neat design. I got that. So, I got out some glitter glue to let her paint a design on. No good. More sobbing and gnashing of teeth.

 

My eight-year-old son was actually doing fine, happily working away at his end of the table, and my two-year-old son was happily coloring on his eggs with marker, until he saw the paintbrush, then he wanted to do that too. Then he happily painted his egg, and his stomach.

 

The issue today was my daughter was so very sad about life. Looking back now, I think she’s exhausted. She’s been staying up too late and rarely takes a nap anymore, but she still sort of needs one. A good two-hour nap would probably help a lot.  And working on not whining.

Anyway, we (I) decided we’d just leave the eggs soaking in their dye, and the kids could go to eat pizza with their grandparents, and we’d finish tonight. We’ll see how the eggs look after six hours in dye.

Maybe I’ll clean everything up while they’re gone and pray they forget about it. But that’s unlikely.

{And that is my last post about Easter. Whew! It has occurred to me that in order to blog about holidays, I probably need to be thinking a few weeks ahead, which might be a tiny problem. We’ll see. }

How in the world do you dye eggs at your house? Is there a dye that works better? Do you put two dye tablets in a cup to make the colors brighter? Do you use paint or markers, or skip the whole thing all together? Tell me, what do you do?

Easter: Resurrection Eggs

I have three children, and at the time of this post they are ages eight (boy), six (girl), and two (boy).

A friend asked me the other day if we do any kind of Easter devotions, and I said, “No, not really.” But then another friend mentioned Resurrection Eggs.  Oh yeah, we do those. I forgot.

 

 

Then I remembered we usually also do Resurrection Rolls. And sometimes, a Passover seder dinner. And occasionally, dye Easter Eggs. Though I guess that’s not a devotional activity, but it’s a fun Easter activity.

It’s just that Easter sneaks up on me every year, and I end up pulling things out of our spring box in the pantry the weekend before Easter. I never feel prepared. Nonetheless, here are some of our favorites.

Yesterday was Thursday before Easter, and I needed an activity for my toddler’s “Busy Box,” something to keep him busy while I worked with my daughter on counting. (She was in the bathtub, so we drew chalk dots on the wall and practiced counting by tens up to 100. Highly recommend Math in the Bath. The kids don’t even realize it’s school.)

Anyway, I pulled these out for my eight-year-old to do with my two-year-old. It was great. My eight year old had to read the chart, tell the two-year-old what color to get out, and explain what it was, thereby reviewing the Easter story. My two-year-old was reviewing colors, learning about Jesus (maybe, not sure if he really got that), using fine motor skills to open and shut eggs, and playing with his big brother. It’s so nice to have big kids sometimes. It was so sweet to see my older son patiently explaining to his
baby brother, “No, buddy, that’s light purple. This is dark purple.” Precious.
(Things aren’t always so serene around here, so I really took notice. There’s a lot of screaming that goes on too. This was a good moment.)

We might go over the Resurrection Eggs again at dinner one day this weekend or next week (sometime it ends up being after Easter, but that’s okay), and really explaining each one, or having the kids see if they can explain each one. Some years my husband or I have read the Easter account from the Bible.

Anyway, this is a super-easy, fun activity that can be as involved as you want it to be. You could do one egg a day leading up to Easter if you were so inclined. I got these at Mardel and it’s not too late to get them this year, or I bet they’ll be on sale next week after Easter.  Have fun!

I was going to find a good Resurrection verse, but this is the one that was on Bible Gateway just now, and it’s perfect for today, Good Friday.  Isn’t that great? I think we’ll memorize it. We’ve been having severe fighting issues lately and could use some reminders of brotherly/sisterly love.

“This is how we know what love is : Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 1 John 3:16

 

Behind

I’m behind. We were out of town in Texas last week, and I have lots of ideas about what to tell you: stories of bluebonnet-covered hills, children playing by the pond with sticks, making tissue paper flowers for my grandpa who’s in a nursing home down there, cuddles and hugs with cousins. However, I don’t have time to write a decent post. I don’t even have time to find a picture for this lame post.

I’ve got a messy kitchen (again) lots of laundry that needs to be put away (again), and the thought that I should perhaps purchase some food for the upcoming week and figure out what to do with it. Just a thought.

I read this thing the other day about Facebook for authors and how we’re supposed to post every day. Right. That is so not going to happen. I’m shooting for once a week blog posts and Facebook updates, and even that is ambitious. And the thought of that even seems crazy. Who wants daily updates? Who cares? Aren’t people busy?

And why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be out there making noise? I’m supposed to be on Twitter, and Goodreads, and Facebook, and blog three times a week. I’m sorry, but no. And if everyone is being told to do all this, who is reading it? And who is living our lives that are sucked up by all this writing and reading of insignificant information?

All of it makes me want to go live in a shack by a pond. Too bad we’re so far away from Walden.

Anyway, all that ranting to say, I’ll try to post next week, and I’m going to go clean my kitchen now. I’m sure you understand.

Side note: I see why people hire publicists now. There’s a stinkin’ lot of work to be done publicizing a book: press releases, marketing plans, giveaways, mailing out prizes. But, Debbie Wilson reminded me, they never did any of that. They just put their books out there and saw what happened. And what happened was that people bought them because they got to the truths of what moms needed to hear. So. We may think we need to do all these crazy shenanignans (where’s spell check when I need it?), but we don’t.

God’s in control and He was in control before Twitter. He was in control when Daniel and his friends said, “That’s nice that everyone says we have to eat a certain diet, but we’ll take vegetables, thanks.” God was in control when the Israelites made fools of themselves (in others’ eyes) marching circles around a big city. But, in both cases, God took care of things.

So I don’t want to get too caught up in what all the blogs say authors have to do. I’ll do what I can, but when I need to, I have to make myself stop and take care of my first priorities.

God’s the one who will take care of things anyway. He’s the one who brings down the walls.