In one of the later Laura Ingalls Wilder books, she mentions that the town gathers and the entire Declaration of Independence is read. I decided to try it. Don’t be scared. It wasn’t that bad. The whole thing only took us 10-15 minutes.

Here’s what we did: after dinner we put a Burger King crown on the toddler and made him King George. He had a spatula for the scepter. (He kept banging it on the table and roaring, “I the PWINCESS! I THE KING!!!”) Then we (mostly I) read/summarized the Declaration. I read a paragraph, my husband read one, then the kids and my mom each read one bullet point and I’d summarize. We had to pretend to be really angry at the king. We made angry faces and tried to bellow. (Not too, too mean though, we didn’t want to scare our little dictator.)

Then, about point #5 my natives were getting restless, so I started summarizing first, then they’d repeat. For #12 for example, I said, “He makes us feed and house his soldiers! It’s not fair!” You know, grossly simplified, but that’s fine. I just want them to get a) the Declaration of Independence is something we read, and it’s important, and it has to do with America’s birthday on July 4th b)The king was mean and we were mad at him and c)this is something they can understand (sort of). That’s it for now.

Now, a few interesting phrases we read word for word because they were cool. For example, the first and last paragraphs/sentences, the phrase “free and independent,” and “He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people,” because isn’t that awesome? It sounds so evil! (If I totally didn’t understand what the thing was saying, I just skipped over that part or guessed. It’s not like they’re gonna know.)

I’d have to advise this for kids 6 and older though, otherwise it might be needlessly exhausting. So, feel free to print this out and have fun!

The Declaration of Independence

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to
dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to
assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which
the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the
opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel
them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that
they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among
these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these
rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from
the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes
destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish
it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles
and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to
effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that
Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient
causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more
disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by
abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of
abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to
reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to
throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future
security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is
now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of
Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of
repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment
of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted
to a candid world.

1. He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the  public good.
2. He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
3. He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large
   districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of
   Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
4. He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual,
   uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
5. He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
   He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers
   of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
6. He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
7. He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his
   Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
8. He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
9. He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their
   substance.
10. He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without
    the Consent of our legislatures.
11. He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
12. He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
    For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:  For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
    For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
    For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
    For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
    For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
    For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government,
    and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
    For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
    For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
13. He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us
    out of his Protection and waging War against us.
14. He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
15. He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to  compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous  ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
16.  He has constrained  our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall
    themselves by their Hands.
17.  He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the
most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated
injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a
Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have
warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an
unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances
of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice
and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to
disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and
correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of
consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces
our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War,
in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in
General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the
rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good
People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United
Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they
are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political
connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be
totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power
to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do
all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the
support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine
Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our
sacred Honor.

The trouble with reserving cabins online is that you don’t really know what you’re getting into until you arrive. We just returned from our Colorado trip, where we stayed in two great cabins. The second one was a bit of a surprise.

When the online listing said the cabin was 5.8 miles outside of Colorado Springs we thought, “Great! Right on the outskirts of town!” What the listing didn’t specify was that the cabin was 5.8 miles straight up a mountain. We were driving up this winding road, and I was looking over the edge of the cliff thinking, “Do people really live up here?”
And oh yes, apparently they do. We kept driving until the road turned to gravel, and then to dirt, and then to dirt with huge bumps in it. All the while I was trying to distract the kids from cranky car-fighting while trying to NOT imagine us careening over the cliff and plummeting to our deaths.(My husband asked if I would like to explain the physics of the car suddenly hurtling off the side of the road and over the edge. No, I would not. But I’m sure it could happen.)

I kept saying, “We’re still not there? Seriously? Haven’t we gone five miles yet?” Time had disappeared. I was thankful I wasn’t pregnant or I’m pretty sure I’d have been jolted into early labor and then we’d have to bump our way back down the mountain to get to the hospital.

Anyway, thirty minutes or so later, we arrived at our cabin, which ended up to be over 100 years old, down in a valley. It came complete with outhouse, tiny stable, miner’s cabin, abandoned mine, and small waterfall.

My husband and I were in a bit of shock at our new accommodations (the kids were delightedly running around; they don’t care much about where they are as long as we feed them).  I saw the quaint little kitchen though and started to warm up. I decided it would be a lovely adventure in simplicity—one tiny bathroom, no tub, teeny kitchen, but
that was all right! It would be like camping out on the prairie! I could cook cornbread in the oven! Too bad there weren’t any prairie chickens.  I was practically Ma Ingalls.

The next morning I decided to make my normal bacon, on foil on a cookie sheet. I put it into the adorable oven and turned it on, then went out on the porch to read. I made sure to set my watch timer since I’m notorious for forgetting the time and ending up with a pan of charred bacon.

Isn’t this a lovely view from the porch? This is where I sat and read.

About ten minutes later I noticed a smell and went into check on the bacon. I was sure it wouldn’t be done because it usually takes about 30 minutes for our oven to heat up and the first batch of bacon to be done.

I opened the oven door and saw clouds of smoke, charred piles of bacon, and flames. The entire pan of bacon was on fire. I slammed the oven door shut and started yelling
for my husband. I was saying, panicked, “What if the cabinets catch on fire?
Can we just let it burn in there? Will it go out?”

He was irritatingly calm about the whole thing.

“This is NOT GOOD!” I kept telling him, trying to impress some urgency upon him.

“I know it’s not good. I didn’t do it!” he said, unhelpfully. Then, “Let’s just put some water on it,” as if discussing a minor irritation, instead of a FIRE.

“I don’t think that’s gonna work!” I said, thinking that this was a grease fire, but not really sure. Did bacon count as grease? It’s not like it’s a big pot of oil (which I’ve also caught on fire).  No, bacon was food, not grease, so water could work, I reasoned. I didn’t discuss any of this inner monologue with my husband, because there was no time, he seemed so certain, and you know, the oven was on fire.

We peeked in the oven, and the fire was bigger, and I was afraid that those old cabinets would get so hot they’d start on fire.  Now this part is a bit fuzzy, because it seems like somehow the cookie sheet of bacon was on the floor when we threw the iced tea (that’s what was handy) on it, but I’m not sure how it got there. Anyway, somehow we threw a glass of iced tea on it and the flames all shot up higher.

Apparently bacon counts as grease. Now we know.

We had the fire extinguisher ready, off the wall, pin pulled out, and at that point blasted it with the fire extinguisher. Thankfully it worked, and immediately put out the flames. Oh my goodness, I don’t know when I’ve been so relieved. I’m so thankful the owners had that fire extinguisher there and it worked.

What if it hadn’t? What if we burned up that 100-year-old house? And then, of course it would have started (another) forest fire, and the fire crews would have taken so long to get there it would literally have set the mountain on fire.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I went outside, shaking, and hugged my wailing 2-year-old. My six-year-old daughter was surprisingly calm (she must take after Daddy), and my eight-year-old son was still asleep in the living room.

“Oh, my gosh,” I kept saying to my husband. “I am SO thankful that fire extinguisher worked!”

He was still calm. He said, “It would have been okay. We could have beaten it out with clothes.” Clothes! Beaten it out with clothes? Are you kidding me? All I could imagine
was the clothing starting on fire and everything getting totally out of control. I’m not saying it wouldn’t have worked, I’m just really glad we didn’t have to find out.

Anyway, we opened windows to clear out dust and fire extinguisher fumes; I didn’t want my kids (one of whom had a cough and was using an inhaler) breathing that stuff. We woke up my son, made sure everything was okay, then left to go to Focus on the Family for the day so things could clear out while we were gone.  We cleaned
everything up that night.

After the fire

It cleaned up nicely.

It took about four hours because if you’ve ever used a fire extinguisher, you know how that dust gets onto every surface, so I had to wipe down all the surfaces, clean the oven, scrub floors, etc. My husband and kids vacuumed and wiped down all the surfaces.

I really didn’t mind though, I was so happy the whole house was still standing. After an awkward call to the owners (“Um, so we set your kitchen on fire this morning, but everything’s fine now!”), I decided I would not touch that stove again! I realized that the old dials were sort of inexact, and I must have had it set on broil instead of bake.

Also, after the fire, we noticed something odd. See it, over on the right side at the bottom?

It was my toddler’s always present Nerf sword. Apparently he had earlier been so charmed by the cute little oven that he thought it the ideal hiding place for his weapon. I’m not sure if that contributed to the fire
or not. But what we learned is, that Nerf swords apparently do well in fires.  Now we know.

See, it survived quite well.

So, I decided I wasn’t really in the mood to be Ma Ingalls anymore. I was afraid of touching the oven again, and not really up for any other adventures.

In fact, I decided what I clearly needed after all that trauma was a pedicure.

It seemed the logical solution.

This is the Broadmoor, which was right at the base of the mountain. Sure, the pedicures at the spa there were twice what they cost in
Tulsa (we looked it up), but how often do you get the chance to go someplace like that?

Well, after inquiring at the spa, and getting to see the lavish surroundings, I decided I didn’t need one after all. I decided I could save $100 and paint my toenails myself. I was awfully tempted though.  You know, to deal with the trauma and all.

We did do some other things on our trip too.  I’ll try to post some pictures but it might
be a few days.  I have to get to the laundry first.

As you hear about those fires near Colorado Springs, please remember to say a prayer for the firemen and people around there.

But just so you know, they weren’t my fault. I promise.